Where do you think stress comes from?
Imagine, by the end of this post, you’ll have clarity on where your experience of stress comes from and you will be able to slow down in life more from a place of innate well-being while navigating the waves of life.
This isn’t another blog that will give you advice, tools, tips, techniques or recommend an app on how to cope and manage stress.
Instead, I will point you in a new direction to the truth, how stress is really created, the missing puzzle piece you didn’t know was missing. An understanding of how reality already works and the way we believe it works
Did you know your emergency stress response system is made to be activated up to 30 minutes once every 1 to 3 days? I beg the question, why would we want to manage or cope with stress?.
People mistakenly believe that stress is part of their daily lifestyle. Many people live in chronic stress and have become so immune to it that they don’t even realize it.
How many hours a day do you spend in peace of mind while navigating life?
I too used to think stress was part of the package deal living on planet earth. It’s what everyone tells you. “Cope and manage stress”. I never questioned it until I understood how stress is created. I’ve come to see the biggest lie, “accept that stress is part of life”.
When my son was 2-months old I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. At first, my doctor thought I had some form of cancer, I was naturally beside myself. I had a biopsy that revealed Sarcoidosis. I had no idea what that was but I felt an enormous sense of relief and gratitude that it wasn’t cancer. I felt like I was given a second chance. Years later, I had an experience with Bell’s Palsy, luckily nothing too extreme.
I know for sure that stress was a major contributor to both. Back then I just attributed stress to my busy lifestyle, working, raising a family, etc. I was pretty much clueless how life worked back then.
Where do you think stress comes from?
The implications of not knowing where stress comes from leaves us looking for solutions. Solutions that look like good ideas to find ways to “cope and manage” stress.
A common overabundance of tools is readily available such as meditation, yoga, tapping, mindfulness, hypnosis, etc., the list goes on.
While there is nothing wrong with any of those modalities, no tool out there can cause a rise in a new level of understanding of how stress is created which allows you to experience life differently.
While in stress/survival mode, digestion, calorie-burning, and assimilation are far from working at optimal levels. After all who needs digestion when you are running for your life? Large amounts of glucose are released into your bloodstream and your immune system shuts down.
If your lifestyle consists of running for your life in stress response on a chronic basis, you already know how damaging those effects are to you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Since our emergency stress response system is only made to be activated up to 30 minutes once every 1 to 3 days, I don’t see the point of trying to cope and manage stress, do you?
Back to the question, where do you think stress comes from?
Most people respond, their ex-partner, wearing a mask, the pandemic, their boss, their dwindling bank account, their rocky marriage, their job they hate, their past, their children, the traffic, the cold dark days of winter, etc. I did too. This is what we’ve been led to believe.
So, what do we do to feel less stress?
We innocently try to change our outside circumstances so we can feel peaceful and calm. Changing jobs so we won’t be so stressed out. Feeling less stressed when we lose 20 pounds, building up that bank account so we can feel more relaxed.
What else do we do?
People often indulge in their feelings asking, why I’m feeling this way and innocently look outside to validate why. This keeps them on the uncomfortable roller coaster ride of the rinse and repeat suffering cycle.
Some people develop coping mechanisms such as overeating, drinking, smoking, over-exercising, internet surfing, etc. in attempts to feel better, to feel calmer, to feel more peaceful, to feel happy and relaxed. It looks like a good idea at the time because we don’t know what else to do.
A set of non-serving habits are developed that become “problems” affecting physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, relationships, jobs, etc.
Now, the habit becomes the problem and people focus on changing behaviors with behaviors using willpower, white-knuckling and trying to replace a habit with a new “healthier’ habit. A few examples:
-Don’t buy junk food so you don’t have it in the house
-Cut back on your drinking don’t attend any social events
-Keep busy so you don’t think about shopping or internet surfing
-Wear the nicotine patch to cut back on smoking
-Gastric-bypass minimizing food intake
-Avoid sugar because you feel you are addicted to sugar
-Remove those social media apps from your phone
-Meditate every day for 20 minutes
-Talk about your feelings and figure out why you are feeling stressed, anxious, sad, depressed, etc.
-Try to think positive when you wake up
The implications of not knowing how stress is created leads us down a winding dangerous road.
Habit Swapping? Do you know someone in your life who has stopped drinking? They haven’t had a drink in years, which is wonderful. But, now they’ve gone to cope and manage stress in other ways such as emotional eating, gambling or something else. What happened? They traded coping mechanisms. They needed another way of dealing with stress since drinking is no longer available to them. They needed another way to feel better.
Have you heard of someone who quit smoking and has gained weight? They attributed it to the fact they quit smoking. What’s happened? They traded coping mechanisms. They too needed another way of dealing with stress since smoking is no longer available to them. They needed another way to feel better.
The dangerous implications of not knowing how stress is really created is innocently passed down to our children, oh yes, it must run in the family.
What are we teaching our children? I hear so many parents say, “my young child or college student has test anxiety”, they are stressed out when taking tests.
Finally, the reveal of where stress comes from and the power you have to see it for what it really is.
A crash course on how stress is created and the power you have to see it for what it is. Let’s dig in.
1. Stress comes from you.
Yes, I know, I was shocked too. But I have to say, when you understand this, you will live a better quality of life and so will your children. Your children can go to school and not be stressed out when taking exams.
2. When we experience stress, the natural thing to do is to look out there for reasons.
Reasons such as a divorce, a new move, a new job, an exam, the traffic, “difficult” people, co-workers who don’t get along, etc.
3. We are made to experience life from the inside-out no exceptions.
We experience life via the power of Thought. We are only ever living in the feeling our thinking never the world, person or circumstance, there are no exceptions. Feeling come from thought alone nothing else.
4. Stress is created from how you are thinking about life.
How you are thinking about your thinking, how you are thinking about people, events, your past, your ex, your bank account, your upcoming flight, your job, etc. All this created from the spiritual Power of Thought.
5. We ONLY work one way, to experience life from the inside out, there are no exceptions. We literally live in a thought-created reality.
6. We live in a world of thought, insecure thinking creates stress.
We get so wrapped up in the “stress” story created by contaminated thinking, we think it’s reality. Never trust insecure thinking, it’s impersonal.
7. Wake up to the fact that you are a thinker.
In doing so, you’ll spend more time in good feelings, the present moment, where you have all the tools to navigate life. They are always there, never broken, never lost. Resilience, wisdom, peace of mind, happiness, creativity, joy, etc.
8. All these gifts to navigate life are always there and they are ONLY covered up by contaminated insecure thinking.
When contaminated thinking falls away, you come back home to innate well-being/mental health.
Interesting that two people unexpectedly can find themselves stuck in traffic for a period of time. One person can feel so stressed while another person takes it in stride and listens to another podcast episode. How does this happen? Each person is thinking differently to create their experience. Each person lives in a separate reality.
I know for me personally, this has been life-changing. Do I still get stressed, yes, of course, it’s called being human. Do I still get anxious or depressed at times, of course, it’s called being human. I experience those feelings less often because I see them for what they are. I see there’s nothing to do, just allow the temporary experience to pass and I am back in well-being, the present moment where all the action is.
What was most useful here for you? Feel free to share your insights.
If this article helped you see stress in a new direction, please share with someone in your life who can benefit.